Follicle count #2

Happy Friday to you all! THANK GOODNESS!!!! It has been a hell of a week!

I have been staying pretty positive throughout this journey, but had a slight bump in the road last night. Marc found out one of his friend's wife is pregnant. I really, really tried to put on a happy face and be excited for them, but I was not to successful. When Marc told me, I had to go upstairs and take a few minutes. Those minutes included  ALL of the cycles of grief I  think, I cried and asked a lot of questions about why or what I ever did to deserve having to struggle so badly and have it rubbed in my face. Now, I am well aware that them getting pregnant has nothing to do with me not getting pregnant...they are also great people and will raise their kid in a loving and able family. It's not fair of me to get upset, but it was about the only reaction I knew how to have in the moment. I have always been a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, I am just wondering what the reason is on this one. AND I am sure I will never know. I have spent a lot of time asking for help from my angels who look over me to get through this and find the positive in the situation. They keep coming through for me, so I hope that continues. (thanks Great Shirley!) So, if the person mentioned above is reading this (and Marc mentioned you do) I am very happy for you and hope that the pregnancy is with out distress!

Marc who continues to be my rock!

I headed to the doctor this morning to get another follicle count. On Monday the biggest was a 10 today it's a 19!!!! WOOT! There is also a second one that measures 12 and may continue to grow. They want me to come in again on Monday and have another follicle count ultra sound. My doctor is pretty positive that if the follicle does not release (and there are no signs or reasons for it to do so) we will be ready for the IUI on Wednesday. That way Marc can take the day off to go with me and we have some heads up. We will see how Monday goes, but she did seem pretty positive. Other good news: I DO NOT have diabetes. (Thank Goodness) My insulin level was a little high...it should be at a 5 it was at a 9, they said just to watch my sugar and we should be good. I probably should do that anyways and I would rather have a minor life style change than have to begin shots or more drugs. On the not so positive side, the doctor is a tad concerned about where my left ovary is. It sits right on top of my uterus. Usually this means there are lesions or scare tissue. I have never had surgery for anything in my reproductive system before, so we are interested in knowing why. This round I have had some more severe pain in my ovaries and that is because the egg is growing on my left side and pushing on my uterus. So...more finger crossing, good thought doing, praying if that's your sort of thing that either we can get pregnant from this side OR that next month (if we have to go again) we have follicles on the right side. BUT, like I told my friend Kay Dee, mostly positive news is ALWAYS better than all negative news. So as of right now I am pretty positive and hopeful with this cycle.

My BFF Kay Dee who has been there for every step of this. She's the best!

My beautiful family who is extremely supportive and amazing!

I continue to be amazed at the love and support we are receiving. It warms my heart to know that although people may not know how it feels to go through this stuff, they have empathy and warm wishes for us. Like I have said in my previous posts...it really does teach you who your friends are and who you can let go of. Personally I could not do this with out my AMAZING husband, beautiful family and supportive friends. Even my softball girls have gotten in on the finger crossing, good thoughts thinking, praying if that's your sort of thing! We are truly blessed to have such amazing people in our lives. I am hoping someday I can give you all the great news that I am pregnant! Life is still good even with some bumps in the road, we just have to remember to keep smiling!