The most amazing sound in the world!

I am getting used to the idea that I am actually pregnant. As I mentioned in my last blog I was nervous about loosing the baby or something going wrong and to a certain point I still am, but after our last ultra sound I can't help but to be full of smiles and happy tears. We went in last Wednesday for our second ultra sound. I was so anxious going in hoping the baby had grown and it didn't just stay a yoke and sac. I had to close my eyes when the doctor first started. When I opened them I saw the most beautiful thing in the world. OUR LITTLE BEAN!!! He/She measured at 6 weeks 3 days and the doctor said they look perfect. I couldn't have been happier, or so I thought. The doctor then said "let's see if we can hear a heartbeat." Sure enough we could....130BPM....the most AMAZING sound in the world. We were all in tears. At that moment I fell in love. I didn't know you could love something so small. What a magical moment for Marc and I. After a long time of wondering if we could even get pregnant, being able to hear the heartbeat...there is nothing better than that! I have read that once you hear the heartbeat the likelihood of a miscarriage is quite small. That makes me very happy! I decided since this last ultra sound went so well we can start planning for the baby. I have decided to stay in the mindset that this little miracle will join us in the world in December. No more worried thoughts about loosing them.

Now being pregnant is well...interesting. Somethings I have experienced are: heartburn, nausea (almost like being hung over) vivd dreams and my favorite mood swings. Not feeling good is hard and as much as I know it will all be worth it in the end it is still hard in the moment. It gets to be frustrating that not only do you not feel good, but nothing helps. That tends to turn into tears and being emotional which usually triggers a mood swing. haha I have been crying a lot which is weird. I had a student actually hurt my feelings the other day. I really need to get that under wraps because I can't do my job well and care what the students say. I have had to find a way to take a minute, cry and then go back to what I was doing. Of all the symptoms the mood swings are the hardest to adjust to. Again, I know it will all be worth it, but it's hard in the moment.

I have also realized that not only is this baby going to effect us, but it's effecting our family. In a good way of course. It's just kind of funny to see how excited they all get, it's so nice to have a supportive family. I do worry a little that during the first couple of weeks when the baby is born, I will want to bond, but everyone else is going to want to be around too. I am not sure yet how I am going to handle that, but I feel like I need to make a plan. The hard part is mixing both Marc's family and my own. Obviously I have a different relationship with my family than his and have ideas of who I would want around, but will have to make some compromises for Marc. It's hard because Marc and I have such different ideas of what should happen the first few weeks after the baby is born (or right after in the hospital) that I am sure it will be a continued conversation all the way up to the day I give birth. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy all of the support, I just don't want to be smothered. I enjoy time to myself and know I will want time just my little family and hope that people can be respectful of that and not have their feelings hurt. I have a track record of being the cause of some issues with Marc's family when it comes to stuff like this. I don't ever mean to cause issues, but I see things differently and when it all comes down to it the issues come from a lack of communication. What I have learned over the years is to be the person who communicates with Marc's family instead of letting him do it in situations like thise ask it seems things tend to get lost or misunderstood in the conversation with Marc. (hence where the issues come from). Now for anyone reading this in my family or Marc's this paragraph is in no way meant to be disrespectful or mean, it's merely a way for me to express some of the things we have to deal with becoming new parents. Please do not take it any other way.

Marc and I are ecstatic to become parents. We have started talking about the room and maternity leave and names. I can't wait to share my journey with you along the way.

XOXO ~Jess

The new journey begins

I was asked by several people if I would be documenting my pregnancy like I did for my TTC journey and I absolutely will. It's amazing that everyone is supportive of these blogs and more people read them than I thought. Really the blogging started and it's main reason continues to be a way to express what I am feeling. It can be challenging talking to other people as they don't know what I am going through, how it feels or how to react to me when I do talk about it, but I am honored that so many people read this and follow my journey. I hope it helps some of you get through the hard times as well.

Let's see. I found out I was pregnant March 21, 2012. My last blog has that fun story. :) We were thinking I was about 4 weeks pregnant when I found out. Two weeks later, April 4, 2012 I went in for an ultra sound.Mind you I was freaking out! I have had some spotting, and frankly since I have never been pregnant before and have struggled to even get to this day every ache, pain, sign freaked me out! My husband struggles to understand why I get so nervous. He is super positive everything will go well. As I mentioned in my last blog I think I just know too much about the process. I'm over educated and I don't really like it. Any who, we go in for the ultra sound and I mention to my doctor I ovulate very late in my cycle. She said based on when I might have ovulated I am actually only 5 weeks pregnant instead of the 6 we thought we were. This was good since when she did the ultra sound she said she could see the sack and yoke, but no baby yet. When that came out of her mouth I about passed out. She said not to worry, the baby is measuring at 5 weeks 2 days which with my ovulation would be just about right and you don't usually see the baby until at least 6 weeks. This would also explain why my HCG numbers were lower at the beginning, because I wasn't "as  pregnant" as we thought. She said everything looked good and not to worry. Then she giggled and told me she knows me better than that, but she really wants me to try. Yea, OKAY!

I am super excited that we are pregnant and the more I think about it the more positive I stay. The doctor said for how far along we are it looks good, my ovaries look good and there is no blood to be concerned about. The fact that I am tired, have had some heartburn and other pregnancy symptoms is a good sign. If I miscarry it's because there is something wrong with the baby and not me. I have no more of a chance to miscarry than anyone else, so I really am staying positive. I can't wait to go in next week and see how the baby has grown. Fingers crossed everything is ok.....I am sure hoping it will be! Our new due date is December 4, 2012


When I go next week I will make sure to update everyone. Please keep your thoughts and prayers coming. The Henderson's very much appreciate it!