The most amazing sound in the world!

I am getting used to the idea that I am actually pregnant. As I mentioned in my last blog I was nervous about loosing the baby or something going wrong and to a certain point I still am, but after our last ultra sound I can't help but to be full of smiles and happy tears. We went in last Wednesday for our second ultra sound. I was so anxious going in hoping the baby had grown and it didn't just stay a yoke and sac. I had to close my eyes when the doctor first started. When I opened them I saw the most beautiful thing in the world. OUR LITTLE BEAN!!! He/She measured at 6 weeks 3 days and the doctor said they look perfect. I couldn't have been happier, or so I thought. The doctor then said "let's see if we can hear a heartbeat." Sure enough we could....130BPM....the most AMAZING sound in the world. We were all in tears. At that moment I fell in love. I didn't know you could love something so small. What a magical moment for Marc and I. After a long time of wondering if we could even get pregnant, being able to hear the heartbeat...there is nothing better than that! I have read that once you hear the heartbeat the likelihood of a miscarriage is quite small. That makes me very happy! I decided since this last ultra sound went so well we can start planning for the baby. I have decided to stay in the mindset that this little miracle will join us in the world in December. No more worried thoughts about loosing them.

Now being pregnant is well...interesting. Somethings I have experienced are: heartburn, nausea (almost like being hung over) vivd dreams and my favorite mood swings. Not feeling good is hard and as much as I know it will all be worth it in the end it is still hard in the moment. It gets to be frustrating that not only do you not feel good, but nothing helps. That tends to turn into tears and being emotional which usually triggers a mood swing. haha I have been crying a lot which is weird. I had a student actually hurt my feelings the other day. I really need to get that under wraps because I can't do my job well and care what the students say. I have had to find a way to take a minute, cry and then go back to what I was doing. Of all the symptoms the mood swings are the hardest to adjust to. Again, I know it will all be worth it, but it's hard in the moment.

I have also realized that not only is this baby going to effect us, but it's effecting our family. In a good way of course. It's just kind of funny to see how excited they all get, it's so nice to have a supportive family. I do worry a little that during the first couple of weeks when the baby is born, I will want to bond, but everyone else is going to want to be around too. I am not sure yet how I am going to handle that, but I feel like I need to make a plan. The hard part is mixing both Marc's family and my own. Obviously I have a different relationship with my family than his and have ideas of who I would want around, but will have to make some compromises for Marc. It's hard because Marc and I have such different ideas of what should happen the first few weeks after the baby is born (or right after in the hospital) that I am sure it will be a continued conversation all the way up to the day I give birth. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy all of the support, I just don't want to be smothered. I enjoy time to myself and know I will want time just my little family and hope that people can be respectful of that and not have their feelings hurt. I have a track record of being the cause of some issues with Marc's family when it comes to stuff like this. I don't ever mean to cause issues, but I see things differently and when it all comes down to it the issues come from a lack of communication. What I have learned over the years is to be the person who communicates with Marc's family instead of letting him do it in situations like thise ask it seems things tend to get lost or misunderstood in the conversation with Marc. (hence where the issues come from). Now for anyone reading this in my family or Marc's this paragraph is in no way meant to be disrespectful or mean, it's merely a way for me to express some of the things we have to deal with becoming new parents. Please do not take it any other way.

Marc and I are ecstatic to become parents. We have started talking about the room and maternity leave and names. I can't wait to share my journey with you along the way.

XOXO ~Jess